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Bullying is frequently masked and kept secret. How can I know if my child is being bullied?  Here is a list of 7 points that might shed some light on the ‘bullying’ subject:

1. Children are the best actors and actresses in the world! They have an amazing capacity for imagination and acting; it is spectacular. However, sometimes this is used to mask one of the most terrible experiences a person can go through: ‘being bullied’.
    
2. Who is the bully? Studies have shown that many bullies have actually been a victim of bullying themselves. Therefore, early detection can help prevent your child from becoming the person he/she dreads seeing every day.
    
3. What are the signs and symptoms for which I need to be alert? Constant sickness at school, change in behaviour, mood swings, isolation from people and/or severe anger can be signs of your child being bullied. Keep an eye out for mysterious bruises that will usually be followed by ‘a questionable excuse’. Keep asking regular questions such as, “so how did you get that bruise again?”
    
4. Are there changes in friends and/or in school results? Are your child’s friends the usual type of person he/she would like to be around? Is he/she constantly getting into trouble at school? Have he/she school results declined?
    
5. Has any timing and/or routine changed? Does your child insist on leaving extra early for school? Do they come home late?  They may be avoiding the bully by taking different times to go to and from school or they may be seeking comfort in the routine of the school or they may start spending time at the library during lunch hours.
    
6. Are you relying on others? As much as we would like to believe our child will speak to somebody,  fear is a powerful emotion. Bullies determine weaknesses and exploit it; you must always question “why?”  Parents instincts are often very accurate; if you ‘sense’ something is not quite right, then believe in your instincts and don’t simply dismiss them as being ‘over-cautious’ and try to find evidence that will substantiate your instincts or validate that you are in fact ‘over-protecting’.  Don’t simply rely on others to inform you.
    
7. What do I do if I find that my child is being bullied? Your natural instinct may be aggression and protection; you need to remember every action you take will affect your child. You need to tread carefully. Schools have policies for bullying which are not always as actionable as we would like, however, the first step is to talk with an experienced school leader and an independent counsellor, so that you can remain ‘wise’ and ‘calm’ and able to take wise action rather than being reactionary.
    

By Wayne Brennan – experienced educator and Centre Leader – Fruition Clayfield

For more information about Cyber bullying go to: http://www.glennie.qld.edu.au/media/pages/13/334/INESS-Promo-Flyer-(2).pdf

Brett Lee worked as a Queensland Police Officer and for 16 of those years as a Detective in the field of Child Exploitation.

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